Meisterβs latest is fun and breezy, a compelling, suspenseful read that entertains and keeps you guessing.
*****
by Ellen Meister
ISBN: 9780778309512
Publication Date: 5/25/2021
Publisher: MIRA Books
Blurb:
A Host of Troubleβ¦
In this witty and engaging novel, Dana Barry, the Shopping Channelβs star host, stops by the companyβs rooftop party to pitch the new CEO her brilliant idea that just might save the flagging business, her job and possibly her love life.
As she chats with the smarmy executive, he backs her into a dark corner. For Dana, itβs a quid pro oh-hell-no. She escapes his lecherous grasp and grabs her drink on her way to the dance floor. Woozy, she blacks out.
When she comes to, the CEO is dead, fallen from the roof. Or was he pushed? And if so, by whom? Itβs hard to know, but one thing is certain: Dana was close enough to be suspect.
Sure, she loathed how the creep moved in on her, but sheβs no killer. Or is she? Truth is, Dana canβt remember much about those minutes. Now she has to use all her skills to prove her innocence to everyone, including her police detective boyfriendβand herself.
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*****
Excerpt:
1
Dana Barry raised her fist to knock on the door and paused. She wasnβt easily intimidated, but walking into Eleanor Gratzβs office was like trying to open an umbrella in a hurricane, and she needed a moment to anchor herself.Β
Not that Dana wasnβt used to stormy weather. Until she got this job at the Shopping Channel, her life had been one shitstorm after another. The last monsoon hit six months ago, when she was fired from her job at a mall store in Queens. With no acting auditions on the horizon, Dana didnβt know how she would pay her rent, let alone her student debt. So she did the only thing she could think of. She got drunk. And high. Thank god for her friend Megan, who burst in and dragged her to an open call. Now here she was, with a steady gig as a Shopping Channel host. And she was crushing it.Β
Dana took a breath and rapped twice on the door.Β
βIf thatβs not Anthony Bourdain with an exotic drink and two tickets to Fiji, get lost,β Eleanor called. Dana opened the door and stuck her head in. βYou know heβs dead, right?β
βLike this whole place might be if I donβt get my work done.β
Despite the warning, Dana stepped inside. The sun-drenched office of the Shopping Channelβs head buyer was a study in whites, grays and aqua blues. Eleanor sat behind a long desk the color of sea pearls. She was sixtyish, with shoulder-length salt-and-pepper hair, offset by hammered-silver hoop earrings. She wore a jewel-toned top with bell sleeves, bohemian-inspired but sophisticated. A pair of tortoiseshell reading glasses rested low on her nose. Through the window behind her, the Manhattan skyline flexed its might against the sky.
βYou want me to come back?β Dana asked.
βLike a yeast infection,β Eleanor said, but she sighed, relenting. βSit down.β
Dana took one of the chairs opposite her desk and the two women studied one another.
Despite her bluster, Eleanorβs demeanor was open, and Dana took a moment to reflect. She could hardly believe how long sheβd been at this job without screwing it up. Usually, sheβd be cleaning lead out of her foot by now and filing for unemployment. But somehow, every self-sabotaging shot had missed. So she was living the life of an actual adult, with a paycheck that covered her expenses and then some. And sure, she missed the rush of going on auditions and the thrill of getting callbacks. She even missed nursing the hurt of rejections. But she didnβt miss getting threatening notices when she was late on her student loan payments. Or being so broke she couldnβt afford tampons without a discount coupon.
So for now, her acting ambitions were on hold. (Or at least the ones she could be public about.) In the meantime, the Shopping Channel gig was so much more than she had imagined. But lately, Dana worried it could all blow away. Despite her personal success, the companyβs sales were down overall. They had even brought in a new CEO, sending a ripple of anxiety through every department.
Thatβs why she wanted to present her idea to someone important. And sure, it might be impolitic to leapfrog her boss to talk to the head buyer about it. But going straight to Sherry Zidel with the idea wasnβt an option, especially now that the business was so wobbly. Sherry was always tightly wound, but these days her jaw was tense enough to crack teeth.
βThey tell me youβre our resident action hero,β Eleanor said, βsaving us all from imminent demise.β She laced her fingers, and her emerald-cut diamond ring took center stage. It was flanked by sapphires, showcased in an art deco platinum setting. The piece was tasteful despite the size, and Dana could imagine cooing over it on the air.
βSome heroes wear capes and fight crime,β Dana said, offering a self-deprecating smile. βMe? I can talk for hours without taking a breath.β
Eleanor shook her head, her expression serious. βSilly girl, you donβt even know your own superpower.β
βEnlighten me.β
βItβs your eye for detail.β
Dana shrugged. Sheβd heard that kind of thing before. She noticed minutiae on an almost atomic level. It enabled her to talk about the quality of the polished rivets on a pair of jeggings with the same gushing enthusiasm she could rally for a diamond ring.
βIβve been told itβs pathological,β she said.
βAs long as you move products,β Eleanor said, βI donβt care what you call it.β
βThatβs what I came to talk to you aboutβproducts.β
Eleanor shrugged as if to say, What else is new? People talked to her about products all day long.Β
Dana hoped she could break through, and leaned forward to study Eleanor Gratzβs age-defying complexion. Though her face was softening around the jawline, there was barely a wrinkle. And nothing about her appearance suggested Botox or a face-lift.
βWhat kind of moisturizer do you use?β Dana asked. It was a question she had formulated on the elevator. She would flatter her way in, but earnestly.
Eleanor pulled off her glasses. βI know an opening line when I hear one.β
βThereβs a reason Iβm asking.β
βI would hope so.β
Dana regrouped. Eleanor wouldnβt respond to fawning or manipulation. She had to get right to the point.
βLook,β she said, βI know weβre not doing as well in apparel as we used to. And Sherry is leaning on me hard. But the fact is, thereβs no way we can compete with the internet. All those fashion websitesβtheyβre creaming us.β
Eleanor snorted. βWith cheap rags. Made with cheap Chinese labor.β
βAwful,β Dana commiserated.
βDisposable clothes held together with spit and a prayer.β
Dana nodded, agreeing. βThey canβt touch us on quality, but thatβs hard to demonstrate on TV. Skin care, on the other handβ¦β
βPlease donβt tell me youβre suggesting a skin care line.β
βWhy not? I can sell it, Eleanor. I know I can. All I need is a couple of models and a tight shot of disappearing crowβs-feet.β
Eleanor laughed. βHoney, you really think this is an original idea?β
βI donβt know if itβs original. I just know I can make it work.β She had been studying the industry giantsβHSN and QVCβand knew that any product with a strong demo moved like beer at a frat party.Β
βTwenty years ago, when this was still a young company, I brought in a skin care line and it was a disaster.β
Dana straightened her back. βMaybe it wasnβt the right time or the right host orβ¦ I donβt know. Point is, twenty years is a long time. Itβs worth another shot, donβt you think?β
βWhich is why Iβve been pitching the idea every few years. But the board always knocks it down. Itβs like they have PTSD from one loss on the books two decades ago.β
βWhat about that hand lotion Kitty used to sell?β People at the Shopping Channel rarely brought up Kitty Toddβthe former star hostess who was found with a bullet in her headβbut this was important.
Eleanor waved away the comment. βThat California Dreams crap? It was a loss leader. The board holds it up as further proof we would always fail at skin care. Iβm telling you, theyβre dug in.β
Dana considered this as she pictured the man now occupying the largest office in the company. He had the look of an aging preppie, with a full mop of white hair and webs of burst blood vessels on his nose and cheeks. Evidence, she assumed, of a hard-drinking past, though today he seemed as sober as a judge.
βBut we have a new CEO now,β she pressed. βMaybe heβll be open to it.β
Eleanor released a bitter laugh. βIvan Dennison.β
βHe was brought in to shake things up, wasnβt he? Maybe this is just theββ
βHeβll never go for it.β
βAre you sure?β
βTrust me, Dana. Iβd never get anywhere with Ivanβ¦β She trailed off, as if she were burrowing deep inside an idea.
βWhat is it?β Dana asked.
Eleanor pursed her lips in thought. After a few beats, she lowered her head as if confiding something. βDana, thereβs a particular kind of man to whom women become invisible at a certain age. Weβve served our usefulness, and now weβre dispensable. Ivan Dennison wouldnβt hear me if I came in with a bullhorn.β
βYou?β Dana asked. Eleanor was such an imposing presence this was hard to imagine.
βTrust me, I could burst into flames and heβd lean forward to light his cigar.β
Dana squinted, struggling to understand. βIf heβs such a sexist, why did the boardββ
βBecause theyβre desperate, and heβs a ruthless fuck.β
Dana sat back and tried to reconcile this description of Ivan with the friendly man who had been introduced to her on set. Heβd been flattering and collegial, conspicuously straitlaced. The sort of man who found a way to work his marital status into every conversation with a woman.
βHe seemed nice enough to me,β Dana said.
Eleanor indicated the entirety of Danaβs lanky twenty-nine-year-old appearance with a sweep of her hand. βOf course he did.β
βWhat if I pitched him the idea?β Dana asked, energized. βHe seems to like me.β
βHe probably wants to bang you.β
βSo what?β Dana said. βHeβs got this whole choirboy vibe going on. Like a born-again something-or-other. I donβt think heβll come on to me.β
βAnd if he does?β
βHe wonβt.β
Eleanor raised an eyebrow, and Dana got it. Guys who constantly mentioned their wives were covering up their darkest urges. Caged beasts posing as carpool dads.
βI can handle it,β Dana said. βI promise.β
Eleanor stared at her, fingers tented, and Dana held her breath. She could tell the formidable buyer was actually considering it. Without warning, Eleanor rose and walked to a tall wooden armoire on the left side of the room. It was a pretty pieceβmore suited to a bedroom than an officeβpainted white and stenciled with delicate aqua waves. She pulled open the doors and stood on her toes to drag a navy-blue box from the top shelf. She brought it back to her desk and placed it in the center. It was a shiny, oversized cube, with the word Reluven stamped in gold foil on the side. Dana had never heard of the brand, but assumed it was a skin care company.
Sure enough, Eleanor opened the lid and began pulling out products and placing them on her desk, narrating as she did so. βOne-step facial cleanser, exfoliating body scrub, firming mask, shower gel, nighttime eye serum, daily moisturizer with SPF 30, hydrating body lotion, retinol antiaging miracle creme.β
Dana studied the Reluven products, lined up before her like obedient soldiers in color-coordinated uniforms. Eleanor closed the box and picked up the scrubβa round gold jar about the size of a tub of whipped butterβand unscrewed the top. She held it toward Dana. βSmell this.β
Dana leaned forward, closed her eyes and breathed in. It was a delicate scent, fresh and young and nostalgic all at once, with a hint of gardenias. βThatβsβ¦sublime.β She took another sniff.
Eleanorβs voice went wistful. βItβs the best skin care line Iβve ever come across. If only I could get it on the air.β
Dana pointed to the body lotion. βMay I?β
Eleanor nodded her assent, so Dana picked up the bottle, pumped a dab into her palm and rubbed her hands together. The feel was rich and velvety. She took a whiff, enjoying the same sensual smell as the scrub, and smoothed it onto her neck. Dana imagined her boyfriend, Ari, reacting to it as he kissed her there. The thought was enough to distract her, but she brought herself back to her mission.
βI can do this,β Dana said, studying Eleanorβs face. βI can get Ivan to agree to let us give this a shot.βΒ
The buyer leaned back in her chair, considering it, but Dana sensed she had already decided. She held her breath.
βMaybe,β Eleanor said, βbut we have to approach this strategically.β
Dana inhaled a tingle of success. Eleanor was on board. βWhatβs the plan? Should I pop into his office? Better to make an appointment? Iβm afraid he might ask what itβs about and thenββ
βEasy, tiger,β Eleanor interrupted. βI admire your determination, but you need to keep your impulsivity in check. This has to be done methodically.β
βIβm listeningβ¦β
βYou need to schmooze. Flatter. Build a relationship first.β
βThe anniversary party!β Dana said, bringing her hands together. It was a big rooftop bash the company was throwing the following week to celebrate twenty-five years on the air, and as soon as she said it, Dana knew it was the perfect opportunity to pitch Ivan Dennison.
βItβs a good place to start.β
βItβs a good place to finish,β Dana insisted. βIf I talk up the idea when heβs happy and relaxed, the center of attentionβ¦β
Eleanor shook her head. βHoney, you might know how to sell on TV, but there are nuances to the one-on-one pitch with a narcissistic executive.β
βWhat if he seems open to it?β
βTrust me, you have to play the long game. Get cozy with Ivan at the party, but do not bring up business. Eventually, heβll come to you.β
βI donβt know,β Dana said. βI might need to strike while the iron is hot. Itβs not like heβs going to fall in love with me. I think you have too much faith in my appeal.β
Eleanor tsked. βAnd I think you have too little.β
Excerpted from The Rooftop Party by Ellen Meister.
Copyright Β© 2021 by Ellen Meister. Published by HQN Books.
*****
Ellen Meister is the author ofΒ several novels including LOVE SOLD SEPARATELY, Β DOROTHY PARKER DRANK HERE; FAREWELL, DOROTHY PARKER; THE OTHER LIFE and others. Ellen is also an editor, book coach, ghostwriter, and frequent contributor toΒ Long Island Woman Magazine. She teaches creative writing at Long Island University Hutton HouseΒ Lectures and previously at Hofstra University. Her latest novel is THE ROOFTOP PARTY. For more info visit ellenmeister.com.
Social Links:
Twitter: @EllenMeister Β
Facebook: @EllenMeister Β
Instagram: @EllenMeister Β
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