To celebrate Halloween (and remind you that Christmas is just around the corner) I’ve got a paranormal treat for ya … I mean,Β who can resist Viking Vampire Angels? Β Huh?!? Β What a fantastic mix of yummy-hero-goodness. Β And the sneak peekΒ totally has me stoked to read this book!
Plus, Sandra has a contest that will get you all caught up with her series. Β Too cool!
*****
A Deadly Angels Novella
By Sandra Hill
Blurb:
For the first time ever the leader of theΒ Viking Vampire Angels, VikarΒ Sigurdsson, has been talked intoΒ celebrating a traditional Christmas! TheΒ tree has been decorated, the gifts haveΒ been wrapped and the stockings haveΒ been hung. And thatβs mistletoe, notΒ cobwebs hanging from the ceiling of theΒ creepy castle full of vangels…really!
The icing on the vampire cookie comesΒ when vangel Karl Mortensen rescuesΒ Faith Larson, a battered young waitress,Β from her abusive boyfriend and hidesΒ her in the castle amidst the Christmas chaos. But what Karl thought was a frailΒ young teenager is actually a very tempting woman. And she thinks his fangs areΒ sexy!
But a strange βChristmas visitorβ at the castle and demon vampires up to theirΒ old tricks could threaten the budding romance between Karl and Faith. Itβs anΒ impossible match: a human and a vangel, but Christmas is a time for magic.
Karl and Faith donβt stand a chance…
Available at Amazon
*****
Excerpt:
CHAPTER ONE
Santa with fangs?…
ββTwas the night before Christmas, and all through the castle, not a creature was stirring,Β not even a bat–β
βVery funny!β Vikar Sigurdsson elbowed Karl Mortensen and almost knocked himΒ off his kitchen stool. They sat side by side at the twenty-foot island counter in the huge castleΒ kitchen. Karlβs halfbrained rewording of the famous yuletide story had been in responseΒ to Vikarβs telling him that Alex, Vikarβs wife, wanted them to have a traditional ChristmasΒ celebration this year, complete with holly, and decorated trees, and caroling, and feasts, andΒ Santa Claus, and jingle bells, and gifts. All that ho-ho-ho nonsense.
βTwas enough to give a thousand-plus-year-old Viking vampire angel a headache!
Yes, Vikar lived in a lackwit, rundown castle (more like falling down, if you ask me,Β which no one ever does) in lackwit Transylvania, and, no, not Transylvania, Romania. No, thisΒ was lackwit Transylvania, Pennsylvania (Donβt ask!). As for bats, three years ago when heβdΒ begun the renovation of this hundred-year-old, seventy-five room monstrosity, theyβd had to firstΒ remove ten tons of guano. (Thatβs bat shit, to you uninformed.) And they still hadnβt eliminatedΒ all of the irksome creatures. Try sleeping at night to the sound of flapping wings in the turrets.Β Not that vangels (Viking vampire angels, to you uniformed, again. Jeesh!), like himself, werenβtΒ accustomed to the sound of flapping wings, but usually it was from St. Michael the Archangel,Β their heavenly mentor aka Pain In The Arse, whom they rudely referred to as Mike. (When heΒ was not around.)
Vikar sipped at his long-necked bottle of beer. He and Karl were enjoying a mid-
afternoon break from battle training down in the dungeons while Alex was off somewhere,Β probably dreaming up more of her honey-do jobs for him. Not that I havenβt told her more thanΒ once that they are more like honey-damn-donβt chores.
This is how the conversations usually went:
βHoney, we need another bathroom on the fourth floor.β
What was it with this βweβ business. Women always used the βweβ card when trying toΒ convince men of one thing or another.
βWe already have two bathrooms on the fourth floor.β
Vikar recalled a time when the only toilet facilities were wooden holes in an outdoorΒ privy or a private spot in the woods. It had been cold enough betimes to turn a cock into anΒ icicle.
βI know. Thatβs why we need three. Whew! It is so hot today. I think Iβll go take aΒ bubble bath. I donβt suppose…β
Alex knew sure as Eve tempted Adam that Vikar loved taking bubble baths with her.Β There was something about popping bubbles that appealed to the boy in him. Or the man.
Face it, she pays no attention to my complaints. All she has to do is smile in that certainΒ way, or hint at some sexual play, and I am Norse putty in her hands. Like this most recent,Β brilliant idea of hers. Holy clouds! She will be turning us all into ridiculous Santa Clauses.Β With fangs!
He glanced over at Karl who was sipping with distaste from a bottle of Fake-O. VikarΒ could have told him it was better to just chug the crap down and cleanse the palate with a bottleΒ of beer. Fake-O was the synthetic blood vangels drank when theyβd been too long from feedingΒ during a mission.
Karl was a quiet kind of guy, the type that didnβt feel the need to talk just to fill gaps inΒ a conversation. A manβs man, modern folks would say. He did the jobs that were handed toΒ him with competency. No whining or complaints, like Vikarβs brother Trond was wont to do,Β especially if it involved anything strenuous. Trond was a sloth if there ever was one, although heΒ was working to reform himself from his grave sin, as they all were.
There was a sadness about Karl, too, but not like Vikarβs brother Mordr who for centuriesΒ turned his sadness into a berserk madness, killing practically everything that got in his pathway.Β Mordrβs sin had of course been wrath.
Vikar liked Karl.
Breaking the companionable silence, Vikar continued with his tirade, βIt would be aΒ sacrilege for us to celebrate such a commercial holiday, wouldnβt it? Weβre practically angels.β
βPractically?β Karl snorted. βYou didnβt look very angelic when I saw you coming out ofΒ your bedroom this morning.β
Vikar grinned in remembrance. Three years heβd been wed, with more than a thousandΒ years of experience in the bed arts under his belt, literally, and still his wife could surprise him.
βBesides, Vikings back in your time celebrated the holiday season, didnβt you?β
In my time? Vikar mused. Makes me sound ancient. Which I am. Still, I like to think ofΒ myself as my thirty-three human years.
Karl was a Viking, too…all vangels were, by birth if not descent…but he was young for aΒ vangel, having died only about forty years ago during the Vietnam War.
βVikings celebrated the Yule season with great vigor. βTis true. Yule logs and giftΒ giving. Feasts. Not a religious holiday, more a commemoration of the Winter Solstice. It wasΒ nothing like the secular extremes evident today. Even though we did, of course, have reindeer inΒ the Norselands. None with a red nose, though, that I recall.β
βIt could be as secular or not, as you wish,β Karl said. βBesides, Alex is right. KidsΒ should experience the holiday season. And this will be the first Christmas that yours are oldΒ enough to understand.β
The traitor! Vikar thought at Karlβs siding with his wife, but then he was probably right.
Gunnar and Gunnora, Vikar and Alexβs βadoptedβ twins, were three years old. For the past fourΒ days, ever since Thanksgiving…another chaotic holiday Alex had talked him into!…Gun andΒ Nora had been yipping and yapping about Santa this and Rudolph that and jingle belling βtilΒ Vikarβs head hurt. It had all started when theyβd gone to something called βBlack Friggsdayβ atΒ the mall. Rather, βBlack Friday.β Betimes, he still fell into the old Norse words, like FriggsdayΒ for Friday, because, after all, despite being a vampire angel, he was a Viking at heart. WhichΒ should be good enough reason to not have to be reminded to ever fall for that trap again.
βHoney, would you drive us to the mall? Gun and Nora need new shoes. It will be fun.β Hah!Β If I never hear βAlvin and the Chipmunksβ again, it will be too soon!
βDid you celebrate Christmas when you were growing up?β he asked Karl.
The young man…even though Karl had forty-two vangel years on top of his twenty-
two human ones, Vikar still thought of him as young…rarely spoke of his past. His situationΒ had been unique amongst the vampire angels since heβd left behind a young wife who lived outΒ her human years until she died two years ago at age sixty-two. Imagine staying the same ageΒ yourself but watching a loved one grow older and older and then perish of a wasting disease!
Karl smiled. A sad smile, Vikar noticed. βYes. I grew up on a small farm in MinnesotaΒ with a brother and two sisters. We were poor as church mice, even though my Dad workedΒ from dawn βtil dusk milking cows and growing corn and hay. Mom had a big vegetable gardenΒ and put away hundreds of Mason jars filled with different things every fall. String beans,Β carrots, peas, corn, limas, beets, pickles, chow chow, peaches, pears, applesauce. If it grew, sheΒ preserved it.
βWe had a Christmas tree, of course, with strings of ancient lights that were probablyΒ a fire hazard. And old ornaments. Homemade ones, too. We believed in Santa Claus, earlyΒ on, anyhow. We even believed the old tale that animals talk on Christmas Eve. Many a night,Β us kids snuck out of the house to the barn to listen. I swore I heard old Bessie say, βMoo-rryΒ Christmasβ one time.β He laughed.
And Vikar laughed with him. It was a revelation hearing Karl talk about his background.Β He hardly ever talked about himself.
βMostly our gifts were practical ones. Maybe a handknitted sweater or mittens or socks.Β Nuts, hard candies, and some fruit that was out-of-season for us, like nectarines, would be in ourΒ stockings, which we hung without fail over the fireplace.β
There are thirty fireplaces in this frigginβ castle, Vikar mused, and had a suddenΒ horrifying image of stockings hanging from every one of them. Some of the younger vangelsΒ were often like children themselves and would sure as sin be wishing for gifts from the fat manΒ in the red suit. Images of Armod, the sixteen-year-old vangel from Iceland, immediately came toΒ mind. Armod fancied himself Michael Jackson reincarnated. (You do not want to see a VikingΒ vampire moonwalking! Trust me!)
βEach of us only got one present,β Karl continued.
Over the holiday there could be as many as a hundred vangels in residence at the castle,Β especially if his brothers came with their contingents. Knowing Alex, sheβd probably alreadyΒ issued invitations. Surely, he wouldnβt be expected to go gift shopping for all of them. WouldΒ he? Vikar shuddered with mall tremors.
His headache felt as if it were growing. Maybe he was developing a brain tumor. GoodΒ idea. That might be sufficient excuse for Alex to get the Christmas bug out of her…um, head.
βOne gift only, but, man, it was always something special. I remember the year I got aΒ BB gun.β
βAnd your parents didnβt worry that you would shoot your eye out?β Vikar asked,Β referring to the famous line from βThe Christmas Story,β a movie some of his vangels loved.
βNah! Growing up on a farm, we were used to hunting and stuff. I got to be a prettyΒ good shot, too. Thatβs why I was recruited to be a sniper in the Army, and–β Karlβs wordsΒ trailed off. He never spoke of his time in Vietnam, the time of his great sin. βAnyhow, thereβsΒ nothing for a kid like those weeks leading up to Christmas. The smells of evergreens in theΒ house and the baking. Ma made a dozen different kind of cookies, and pies, even homemadeΒ fruit cake. And the Christmas dinner was a regular feast with turkey and stuffing, mashedΒ potatoes, gravy, rutabaga and corn, string bean casserole, cranberry sauce, fresh fruit salad, andΒ rolls warm from the oven dripping with butter.β
At the mention of all that baking and food preparation, their cookβs head shot up. LizzieΒ Borden had had been sitting at the far end of the counter skimming through a recipe book.Β He hadnβt realized theyβd been speaking so loud. And, yes, it was that Lizzie Borden, whoΒ wielded her axe these days chopping vegetables and beef carcasses. Lizzie was the most sour-dispositioned woman Vikar had ever met. She exchanged a look with him that said loud andΒ clear, βDonβt even think about it!β
Karl hadnβt noticed Lizzieβs expression. Instead, he was still lost in childhood memories.Β βThe excitement, thatβs what I remember most. The anticipation of Christmas was almost asΒ special as Christmas itself.β He shrugged as if helpless to explain it all.
Actually, heβd done a pretty good job, not of convincing Vikar that he should go all outΒ with Christmas madness as Alexβs plan would surely be, but showing a more simple view of theΒ holiday. βIs the farm still there?β
Karl nodded. βIβve not been permitted to make myself visible to any of my family,Β especially while Sally was still alive.β He bit his bottom lip for a long moment before going on.Β βMom died a long time ago, but my Dad is still alive. Finally retired at eighty-nine. My littleΒ brother Erik works the land now. Quite a prosperous operation these days.β He laughed. βI sayΒ little, but Erik is fifty-eight now, and has not just grandchildren, but one great-granddaughter.β
Just then, Vikar heard the loud bang, bang, bang of little feet stomping down theΒ uncarpeted back stairs. Laughing (Was there anything sweeter than the sound of a childΒ laughing?), excited chatter (Do children know how to talk below a shout?), shrieking βIβm first,Β Iβm first.β
Gunnora rushed through the doorway of the servantβs staircase, shoving her brother asideΒ with a swing of her tiny hip. Her blonde braids were half undone and she had a dirt smudge onΒ her freckled nose. βPapa, look what I found in the attic.β She was carrying a wooden soldierΒ nutcracker almost a tall as she was. βGimme a nut, Lizzie,β she ordered.
βIβll give you a nut, you little tyrant,β Lizzie muttered and went back to reading herΒ recipe book.
Close behind Nora was her twin Gunnar who carefully held a wooden stable inside ofΒ which Vikar could see what appeared to be painted wood Nativity figures. Gun put it on theΒ floor and began to arrange the little statues of the Holy Family and animals. βI need someΒ straw,β he said to himself. βBetcha that Amish man at the farmersβ market has some.β
And then there was Alex, his wife, who could still make his heart leap (and other bodyΒ parts), despite their being married three years now. βHoney, wait βtil you see what I found forΒ you,β she said, placing a dust-covered box on the counter in front of him.
Uh-oh. There is that βhoneyβ again. Best I raise my shield and prepare for battle.
Gun and Nora were jumping up and down with excitement. Open it, Papa. Open it.βΒ And the gleam in Alexβs eyes was much like that of a Norseman just home from a long trip a-Viking, offering some treasure or other to a loved one. Maybe she was not asking another favorΒ of him, but granting one. He would be open minded.
βThank you, love,β he said graciously.
But then he saw what was inside and thought, Screw open-minded.
He said, βHoly shit!β before he could catch himself. Alex did not like him to use foulΒ language in front of the children. But this required a βHoly shit!β if anything ever did. InsideΒ the box, was a moth-holed, old-fashioned Santa suit, with a black leather belt, big boots, and aΒ ridiculous peaked cap.
Just then, Nora let out a little squeal and set aside the nutcracker. Running over to theΒ window facing the back courtyard, she said, βItβs snowing! Itβs snowing!β
And Gun said, βMaybe we can make a snowman, just like Frosty.β
And Alex, who was tone deaf or close to it, burst out into song, βItβs beginning to look aΒ lot like Christmas.β
And Karl said, βIβm outta here.β
βCan I come with you?β Vikar asked.
βHell, no, Mister Scrooge!β
Once Karl was gone and the children had gone off with a grumbling Lizzie to find someΒ coal and carrots and a cap for Frosty, he and Alex were alone. He glanced pointedly at the openΒ box and said, βSurely, you donβt expect me to…come on, Alex, sweetling…Santa with fangs?Β Ha, ha, ha.β
She didnβt laugh. Instead, she gave him that little secret Mona Lisa smile…and, yes,Β he had met the model for the Mona Lisa painting one time and knew exactly why she had beenΒ smiling. βHoney,β Alex purred.
Beware of women who purr. βNo, no, no!β he said. And he continued to insist, βNo, no,Β no,β until Alex yawned and mentioned taking a little nap. He did so enjoy afternoon βnapsβ withΒ his wife.
Still, he protested, βA Viking Santa?β
Somehow Alex managed to hop up onto his lap, straddling his hips. With arms loopedΒ around his neck, she said, βPlease?β
βI will be the laughingstock of Vikings throughout this world and the other,β he said on aΒ groan of surrender.
Oddly, he found that he no longer cared.
*****
Sandra Hill is a graduate of Penn State and workedΒ for more than 10 years as a features writer andΒ education editor for publications in New Jersey andΒ Pennsylvania.
Writing about serious issues taught her the merits ofΒ seeking the lighter side of even the darkest stories.
She is the wife of a stockbroker and the mother ofΒ four sons.
https://www.facebook.com/SandraHillAuthor
Join the authorβs mailing list
https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/177305.Sandra_Hill
*****
Giveaway:
1 print set open to US Shipping containingΒ KISS OF WRATH, KISS OF PRIDE, KISS OF TEMPTATION, KISS OF SURRENDER by Sandra Hill
http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/display/ba112ffc812/
*****
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